You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize