I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
