We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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