I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
