Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
