My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
