shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
