Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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