That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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