Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
