...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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