its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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