You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize