He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
