you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
