we have pet lesbian snakes
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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