He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
