i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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