My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
