Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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