another moral hangover. fuck.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
