it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize