I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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