Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
