I think I won the penis lottery.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
