i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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