Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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