It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
