i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize