You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
