hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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