the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
