There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I think I died a long time ago.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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