I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
