you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
