she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
