woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
