we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
