You're my little dorito
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize