Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
whose parrot is this?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
