Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize