Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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