Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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