in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
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