i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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