she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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