My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
