found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
