Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
