All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
