??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
