I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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