I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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