no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
