Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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