What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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