M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
