this beer tastes like vomit already
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
