don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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