Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
