so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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