he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize