In the future we'll all be gay
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
