Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
