Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Never joke about your clitoris.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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