When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
