You're a womanizer and a bitch.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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