Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize